Among all the variety of clients I have been working with, there’s been a commun denominator that showed up as one the main reason why the child now grown up adult had become so wounded, lost and had been struggling to enforce his or her boundaries and that is the weight of the family.
Don’t get me wrong: family is a beautiful thing.
it’s given us our life to start with. And then … well … this is when things started to go somewhat off track and even before actually.
When you are born, you are already assigned let say some sort of energetic and vibrational bank account like a set of cards you have been dealt with at a poker table. And then you have to play the game of life.
Some will be more equipped than others.
It is a mistake to believe that we are all born equal as we of are not just from an energetic perspective.
Those of you who want to reach a certain outcome in life will then work on themselves to make it happen, manifest it if you will in Law of Attraction words.
So what has your family to do with it?
The first step when I work with my clients is to untangle them from all the various cords, attachments, childhood trauma, smothering parenting they experienced as children. As this often time is what created the addictive patterns, lack of boundaries, holes in their sense of selves and many other painful patterns and sufferings.
Now when all of this is removed and healed, does it mean you just cut off from your family?
No you can still be present and loving BUT the big difference is this is not your job to carry them.
Someone said to me lately:
“ If there is a “riff” in the family, I’m the one who tries to put it right with everyone. I feel no matter which sibling it it, I’m the one who has to heal the family. I know I need to just focus on myself but it is very hard for me to do that because I guess I am always looking to be loved (which I know I am), to be told that I am loved. When I was younger, my report cards weren’t always A’s and B’s like my one sister and brother so I always got the “What are you stupid?’ and so a lot of this may stem from that. I have proven to my parents that I’m not as dumb as they thought I was. LOL. “
And this was my answer: “In your case, it is about healing these childhood voids that created these compulsive needs for recognition and for approval that made your boundaries weak and therefore prone to be taken advantage of that can affect other areas of your lives. And I might add no your job is not to heal your family but to heal yourself as a priority and guess what ? As a knock on effect it will actually heal your family as you will undo and heal a lot of the family patterns and karmic heritage through the healing you will go through. But remember focus and priority is to heal you and that starts with boundaries 💖”
You see, focus on you will actually help your family heal as weird as it sounds. But not that weird as you know that when you shift and heal inside, then your outer will adequately adjust to your new vibrations and energy or just fall away as they no longer match you energetically.
Even as a healer, I do not act as a saviour for anybody in distress as this would be very unhealthy for me to do so.
It doesn’t mean I haven’t helped and healed some of my family members. But it was at their own request.
This is not neither my job nor yours to do the work for anybody. Whoever is getting healed needs to want it, make the step to ask for it and then support shows up.
If you have loved ones who needs healing and it is beyond obvious to you, for sure you can tell them about it but that’s it. Let them know it is available. But this is as far as it gets.
I even chatted with a healer once who was feeling very conflicted and saddened that her own family was not opened to healing. I actually told her that it had nothing to do with her skills as a healer. It needs to come from the person who wants to be healed, family included.
it is about boundaries, self love and knowing where your place is. This is how you facilitate someone’s empowerment instead of enabling them.
PS: Making sure I am displaying diversity in my family pictures LOL You never know these days 😛 Joke aside, my message above re weight of family is actually serious and real 😘🥰